February 12, 2006
No tomorrow
She was an intern doctor. She met him in a bar. They were drunk. The next morning she started her first day as an intern doctor only to find that he was her boss, the brain surgeon. So the one-night stand was extended to the many-night stand..
They were happy, until one day one woman declared that she was his wife. She was furious. He explained, his wife cheated on him with his best friend so he left then he met her. His wife was a capable and beautiful doctor too and she was appointed by the chief for a project in the hospital where he worked. She wanted him back.
He had to make a decision. Surprisingly, (or not) he chose to stay with his wife. She was devastated. But deep in his heart, he knew what they had was not just a fling. They moved on with life and controlled their emotions.
This is part of my present favorite TV show < Grey's Anatomy>.
Watching the last episode, I teared.
She almost died in an accident. He rushed over to see her. She told him at the moment of dying she tried to remember when their last kiss was, but she just couldn't. He looked at her, " I am glad that you are fine." then walked out. She turned back, his voice came from behind:" That was a Thursday morning. You just came out from shower, smell like a flower. I was running late. You put your head on my chest then kissed me. That was just a normal good-bye kiss, like every other days...but we never knew that would be our last one."
Many times in life, we assume everything is just there. We can take time. But we don't know what will happen then what will become our last. We constantly tell ourselves that we should live as if there is no tomorrow, theoretically, until one day we really don't have any.
Posted by pengbo at 11:59 PM | Comments (0)
January 29, 2006
Sabrina
The first day of my new year. I wanted to do absolutely nothing.
I was toying with the remote control of the TV, which I haven't really been close to except two hours on Sunday evening. Then just before I turned it off, here it was: Sabrina, starting from the very first minute. I watched that old movie before, but I did not believe that it was as meaningful as it was at this moment.
When she attempted the first click on the camera, when she said, " Every time I see the world from my camera, I put myself in others' stories. And I know that I will never be able to live without it for the rest of my life." I smiled, with tears.
Yes that was it.
Posted by pengbo at 6:37 PM | Comments (0)
November 6, 2005
the MM-----music and movies
I love movies. I love watching the life stories of others, the drama and the complications, the emotions and the sentiment, so that I don’t need to think of mine.
This was the fourth time that I’ve watched this movie and I still laughed and cried with it. A little bit exaggerating but sweet, touching, romantic movie “Love Actually”. It was filmed for Christmas two years ago and reviewing it again just made me realize how time flew. Christmas was around the corner again.
In general, if I don’t pay particular attention to the music in the movie, for me it means it is well integrated with the plot and the story. And I have to say in the past three times, the music seemed seamlessly fitting to the movie so I just let it flow by. However I do remember one scene: The wife was thrilled to find a beautiful necklace in her husband’s pocket and she assumed that it would be her Christmas gift. But she opened her gift with excitement only to find out that her husband gave her Joni Mitchell’s CD. A complicated feeling seized her: Disappointed, being betrayed, shocking…but she could not reveal her real feelings in front of the kids so she pretended to go to the kitchen. She hid herself in her bedroom with Joni Mitchell’s voice flooding in the room, she wept silently….then she wiped out her tears and went back to the room pretending nothing had happened…
I cried three times when I watched that scene and this time, again. And the music, her deep voice, the melancholy melody, just went under my skin…..I felt I would melt in it….
Ok, on my to-purchase-list: Joni Mitchell: Both Sides Now
When I first listened to Carla Bruni was her song: "Quelqu’un m’a dit" from a wonderful friend this year. Then for my birthday I received a CD of hers from another dear friend, which became one of my favourite CDs. Last weekend I rent a few movies including an old one called Le divorce. I watched it in the theatre years ago. I rent it again just for a simple reason: I'd like to watch Kate Hudson’s sweet smile if I need to relax and kill some time. In the middle of the movie, all of sudden, Carla’s voice: “
C'est quelqu'un qui m'a dit que tu m'aimais encore.
Serais ce possible alors ?
It dawns to me that maybe something is always there, but sometimes we just don’t know…
Posted by pengbo at 7:34 PM | Comments (0)
June 7, 2005
Movie, music and me
I was in the movie mood.
It was not too hard to choose one: Cinderella Man. Yes sounds a little cheesy but I like Russell Crowe. I don`t care if he has been accused of being hot tempered or fighting with people in the bar, I am not paying him for playing himself. I like the roles that he has played in the unrealistic world. Renée Zellweger is one of my favorites too. For me, she is not extremely beautiful, but she has her own charm and the way she speaks always amaze me.
I would say the film itself did not surprise me. Another typical Hollywood movie. I even did not worry about the ending because the title told everything. It was always like that: The hero would be beat to death (oh almost death), the enemy would appear strong and powerful; the hero would flash some sweet words or great expectations from a beloved, the enemy would show his terrible aggressive look; the hero would give the last punch and claim the victory, and the audience would be cheering for that….then “ The end” would appear on the screen leaving some innocent ones sobbing in the theatre…(Oh I am often one of them, not for this one though)
However I was still touched, not by the old-fashion plot, but by the love existing between the couple. No grand gestures, no eloquent speech, just a simple glance, a simple hand-in-hand, a simple kiss…the understanding and the tremendous trust…the love never diminished even facing the situation of surviving…I don’t need people to tell me:” hey young lady, wake up, it is just a movie!” Yes I know, but I do believe in true love in life. In fact in my whole life I would strive for that. I would be happy if I don’t lose the ability to love. If no love, it is close to death.
I used to envy those actors and actresses simply because they have a lot more opportunities to live other people’s life, experiencing their emotions, feelings, love and hatred. Yet on my way home, I turned on the radio, a beautiful melody flew out and all of sudden my heart was kind of wrung inside out…
Home by Michael Bublé
Another summer day
has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
MmmmmmmmMay be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you knowAnd I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than thatAnother aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go homeLet me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come homeAnd I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believed in meAnother winter day has come
And gone away
iN EiTHER Paris OR Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go homeAnd I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let ME go home
Oh, I miss you, you knowLet me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It'll all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home
The word” I feel like I am living someone’s life” caught me then I can’t help but wonder: Maybe no matter how wonderful others’ life would be, we have to come back to live our own; maybe it is better to live our own life with solid footprints…
Posted by pengbo at 10:21 PM | Comments (0)
April 15, 2005
Dare mo shiranai/Nobody knows
这应该是个美丽的下午。洒满阳光的春日的下午。我却被一种突如其来的久违了的孤独感围绕，那是一种近似于曲终落幕后的空虚或是于觥筹交错人声鼎沸之中的落寞。通常这样的时刻我需要把自己隔离。
于是我把自己仍在了Cinema du parc 的黑暗里，观看一部日本电影Dare mo shiranai/Nobody knows。于是在这个明媚的下午，我在黑暗里泪流如注。
这是今年到此为止最让我震撼的电影。他们讲的是我听不懂的语言，可是我却觉得我懂他们的每一个眼神, 每一个动作,每一句话。没有大牌明星，只有四个孩子，用他们稚嫩的肢体一笔一笔勾画着生命的意义。他们让我想起余华的“活着”。 不同的故事，不同的风格，却同样讲述关于生存的韧性。
四个孩子，不同的父亲，同一个母亲。最大的12岁，最小的5岁。唯一的母亲弃他们而去，12岁的Akira 担负起照顾弟妹的重担。为了能够四人相守在一起，他们没有去警察局申请帮助。母亲留下的钱用光了，电被停了，水被停了，食物是商店要丢弃的。。。他们还是以独特的自己的方式顽强地生存着。就是这样，他们还在阳台用捡来的种子栽种了一片绿色。。。
这是个眼泪肆意的下午，对我而言。
小yuki的生日那天，她相信母亲会回来看她，她一定坚持去车站接母亲。哥哥只要答应。小yuki穿上漂亮的会响的小红拖鞋拉着哥哥的手兴奋而去。夜幕降临，两个孤独的小身影落寞的留在回家的路上。。。小拖鞋的响声融入了失望的夜色中。。。我的眼泪在小红拖鞋的踢踏声中潸然而下。。。
母亲在时给孩子们规定，除了大哥，一概不可以出门。在确定母亲不会回来后的一天， 大哥决定带所有的弟妹出门，在哥哥把鞋子准备好的那一刻，三个弟弟妹妹的期盼兴奋的眼神让人过目不忘。。。终于来到了外面的世界，终于可以拥抱阳光和空气，孩子们奔跑着雀跃着，而我含着泪微笑着。。。
小yuki 死了。哥哥用手提箱把她带到很远的飞机场，因为小yuki从来没有见过飞机。。。哥哥把她葬在机场，这样她可以经常看飞机起落。。。在填土的一刻，Akira 的手在我眼前颤抖不已，我的眼泪也在那一刻纠结而来。。。
一只手在黑暗中递来一张纸巾，而我最终不知道那个人的样子，我在剧终的一刻悄然退场，此刻我需要孤独地离开。。。走时我对黑暗里的邻居轻声说了句“Merci."
It was supposed to be a beautiful afternoon, a sunny spring weekend afternoon. Don’t know why a sudden loneliness grabbed me. This word did not appear often in my dictionary. The feeling was like the emptiness after the show was over, or the solitude of being among the noisy crowd. Usually at this time I needed to detach myself.
So I threw myself to Cinema du parc, watching a Japanese movie. Dare mo shiranai/Nobody knows。This was rather an impulsive decision. So in this beautiful sunny afternoon, my tears were flooded in the darkness.
This has been the most powerful movie so far this year to me. I did not understand their language, yet I felt that I understood every single glance, every single move and every single word. No well-known stars, just 4 kids who used their tender body to explain the meaning of being alive. It all of sudden reminded me of “To live”. Different stories, different styles, but both described the tenacious and persistent will to survive.
Four kids, different fathers, same mother. The oldest one was 12 and the youngest one was only 5. The mother left them for her own happiness and Akira, the 12-year boy undertook the task of taking care of his brother and sisters. In order to be staying together, they did not go to the police. The money that mom left was gone, the electricity was stopped, the water was discontinued, the food was the leftovers from the supermarket…Yet they still lived their unique life in a unique way. Even in such toughness, they still used the seeds they picked on the road to grow a beautiful greeeeen in the balcony…
This was an afternoon of tears, for me.
Little Yuki believed that her mom would come back to see her on her birthday. So she insisted to go to the train station to meet her. Akira had to agree. So she wore her beautiful red slippers which could make sounds when she walked and left with joy. The night came and the two kids with lonely shadows moved on their way back home. The echo of the sound of her beautiful red slippers melt in the sad darkness. The tears rushed out of my eyes in the tap-tap of the red slippers…
When the mother was home she had a rule that no kids would go out except Akira. After losing the hope of her return, finally in one sunny day, Akira decided to let all the kids out. When he was preparing the shoes for all the kids, the eagerness and excitement of the kids was imprinted in my head forever. Finally they came out to embrace the world outside, finally they could enjoy the sunshine and fresh air. They jumped, they ran, they played with each other…I smiled, watching them, with tears.
The little Yuki died. Akira put her in a suitcase and brought her all the way to the airport because the little Yuki never got the chance to see the airplanes. Akira buried her there so that she could watch the take off and the landing of the airplane frequently. Again I could not help my tears when Akira’s hands were trembling in the darkness…
A hand passed a piece of tissue to me and I did not know who the person was. I left the theatre quietly when the movie ended. I needed to be alone at this moment. Before I left, I whispered to the kind neighbor:” Merci.”
Posted by pengbo at 8:03 PM | Comments (0)
April 9, 2005
What time is it there?/你那边几点？
一整个星期的感觉就是一个字"累"，于是我周末的整体策略也就是一个字"睡"。
当我在明媚的阳光里睁开眼睛，看着墙上的闹钟指着12点15分，然后心满意足地爬起来。给自己做了一大杯cappuccino坐在洒满阳光的沙发上突然间很想看电影。于是想起M. La Grange 不久前推荐的台湾导演蔡明亮的作品《你那边几点？》
影片以小康的父亲去世开始，然后以小康和湘琪的相遇展开。小康以卖表为生，湘琪在去巴黎的前一天来他那里买表。她想要一块有两个时间的表，以便对比台北与巴黎的时间。在所有的表中她却只看上了小康手上的那块。小康不肯卖，说是父亲刚过世，会给她带来霉运。但她不在乎，最后小康同意把表卖给她。似乎俩个人无形的联系便从此开始。
父亲的去世对整个家庭带来极大的影响。母亲不能释怀，总以为父亲回转世回来。小康被母亲的怪异行为弄得神经恍惚。他开始把所有卖的表都调到巴黎的时间， 甚至包括家里和他在台北见到的所有的表。。。而地球另一端的湘琪独自在巴黎闯荡，然而她所经历的却和小康有着神秘的联系。。。
这是一部很慢的电影，继承了蔡明亮一贯的风格：很少的对白，甚至很少的音乐， 不像王家卫的片子，你总有一个旋律在脑海里环绕。他所讲述的故事是隐晦的，需要你自己去把他精心制造的无数的影像连接在一起去体会他所要表达的东西。影片的摄影很美，对于我这个现在对摄影如痴如迷的人来说是一种极致的享受。
看完电影抱着已经冷了的capuccino我想起一首齐秦的老歌，也是我刚来Montreal让我流泪的老歌《想念》
"Exhausted" was the precise summary of my past week so "Sleep" became my overall strategy for the weekend.
When I opened my eyes in the beautiful sunshine, the clock on the wall indicated that it was 12:15pm, only, hehe. I then got up feeling very content. After making myself a huge cup of cappuccino I felt like watching a movie while sitting in my couch wich was showered with sunshine. Then I thought of " What time is it there?", recommended by M. La Grange not long ago, directed by Ming-liang Tsai, a famous director from Taiwan.
The film begins with the death of an old man, who is the father of the main character Hsiao-kang then continues with Hsiao-kang’s encounter with Shiang-chyi. Hsiao-kang makes his living by selling the watches. Shiang-chyi wants to buy a watch with the time of both Taiwan and Paris because she is leaving for Paris the next day. Among all the watches, only the one that Hsiao-kang wears looks appealing to her. She begs to buy that one but Hsiao-kang does not want to sell her. He tells her that his father just passes away and the watch may bring her bad luck. She does not care and finally Hsiao-kang agrees to sell her that watch. It seems that a mysterious connection between the two starts since then…
The death of Hsiao-kang’s father brings great impact on the whole family. His mother misses him so much and strongly believes in his reincarnation. Hsiao-Kang is driven crazy by his mother’s weird behaviour. He starts to set all the watches he sells to the time of Paris, including the one at his home and all he sees in Taipei….meanwhile, Shiang-chyi, on the other side of the globe, begins her lonely journey at Paris. What she confronts conveys a strong and mysterious connection with Hsiao-kang…
This is a very slow movie, a typical Ming-liang Tsai’s movie, with very little dialogue, even little music, not like Kar Wai Wong’s movies, in which you always have a melody crooning in your mind. The story he tries to tell is rather implicit, you have to incorporate yourself all the images and the scenes that he creates with a meticulous perfection to be able to grasp the messages that he wants to convey. However the photography of the movie is excellent. It is such an enjoyment for someone who is crazy about photography right now, like me.
When the movie ended, my cappuccino was already cold. All of sudden I thought of an old song 《想念》 of Chyi chin, which drove me to tears when I first set my foot in montreal…
Posted by pengbo at 2:08 PM | Comments (0)
March 24, 2005
The world 世界
Just the thoughts of having a looooong weekend ahead of me made me happy. Besides, Vivian invited me for dumplings after work, although her invitation sounded more like a warning:" Come for dumplings Thursday night then DON'T bug me for the rest of the weekend because I need to prepare for my exam!"
After the delicious dumplings I thought I should fully exercise my right of bugging her tonight so I grabbed her to watch the movie that Beth recommended a few days ago at Cinama du Parc: The world 世界。
This is a Chinese movie which describes the life of a young dancer Tao, her security-guard boyfriend and others who work at World Park, a theme park where visitors can have a glance of the world famous interests including the Eiffel Tower, Big Ben, the Pyramids and even the Twin Towers, without ever leaving the Beijing suburbs. Those people are mostly from different small towns, coming to Beijing to see a bigger world. They speak different dialects, even Vivian and I have to read the subtitles from time to time.
I like the movie because it talks about the life of ordinary people, because it has strong Chinese culture context, and mostly because it depicts a real life of many Chinese, sometimes sad though.
There is a scene that is very touchy and beautiful:
Tao met this Russian girl Anna. Tao did not speak Russian while Anna did not speak Chinese. But the two women seemed connected. They sat in a small restaurant drinking Chinese wine. And then they had a beautiful conversation in two languages. They did not need each other to understand what they were saying, they just needed to know that they were with each other and cared about each other...
When we got out of the cimena, Vivian said:" Compare to many people in the movie, we are lucky, because we have more choices." That was true. We were like them, leaving our country to explore a different world. The difference might be that we had more choices to decide what kind of life we wanted. The girl Tao in the movie once said, " No one that I have known ever takes the airplane. I wonder how it feels."
The world is big yet small.
Posted by pengbo at 11:15 PM | Comments (0)
January 3, 2005
一分钟的朋友
昨天下了一整天的冰雨. 阳台上的冰一层层地积成厚厚的透明的茧子. 我的心也在结冰, 有些冷.
捧着被子围成圆圈缩在沙发里看<阿飞正传>. 更喜欢它的英文名字Days of Being Wild. 这是我第二次看, 听不懂广东话, 像外国人一样看英文字幕. 从来没有这样被张国荣感动过. 一个不羁的灵魂, 一缕自由的风. 印象最深的镜头还是张国荣让张曼玉看着他的手表, 只看一分钟, 那一分钟, 整个世界都静止, 他的唇离她的脸很近, 可以看到的只是呼吸., 那一分钟, 充满了诱惑与欲望. 然后他说 我们做了一分钟的朋友,今天四月十六号下午三点钟前的一分钟, 我会永远记得, 因为你.
在我们的或长或短的生命里, 一分钟究竟有多长?
张曼玉终于问了:’你究竟有没有爱过我?” 像这世上所有向往爱的女人一样不能免俗. 而爱或不爱的答案真得有那么重要吗? 他的回答可以撕碎所有女人的心: 这一生我会遇到很多女人, 也许直到我死的那一刻我才知道我爱的是谁.
是不是爱和伤害是孪生子而我们就在这爱了伤了伤了再爱再爱再伤的循环中看着时间爬过我们的皮肤? Are we like Carrie, still looking for the inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love in this world OR we are just addicted to that exquisite pain???
其实生命里很多人都不过只是一分钟的朋友.
Posted by pengbo at 11:49 AM | Comments (0)