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September 27, 2007
34.99 years old wish
Here I am. 34.99 years old. asking myself the same question 20 years ago: What do you want?
If life experience could sell for money, I must be at least a millionnaire. If being kind and generous can make one live longer, I think I could live at least 200 years. I doubt it will be much fun though to live that long without teeth. Sometimes I evaluate my assets and I see a lot as the intangible ones. Then I smile, as if I am really rich.
I am a little bored. No in fact a lot bored. With my suburb condo, sometimes even with this sexy city. Walking on St-Catherine street, I wonder how many people care about me, no one. Who are we? Nobody. So why are we taking ourselves so seriously?
8 years. I could think in English and dream in French; I could talk about sex without blushing; I could go tell a young man that he is cute; I could smile at a friend saying : you know what, you suck! But I still could not leave my parents behind without thinking of my responsibilities; I still could not not want a beautiful steady everlasting love and a family; I still could not stop being a Chinese, no matter what passport I am holding.
8 years later, I am back to where I was. I have to find the answers to my question: what do you want? What makes you happy?
My own birthday wish is: God, help me find the answers.
And you, please help me pray.
Posted by pengbo at September 27, 2007 12:48 AM
Comments
Happy Birthday!
Posted by: Kevin at September 27, 2007 12:02 PM
Happy Birthday!!Hope it is on time
北京农民
Posted by: atu at October 1, 2007 1:14 PM
I am for the questions, not for the answers
Happy birthday dear helen :)
Posted by: marcello at October 1, 2007 5:04 PM
There is a difference between a circle and a spiral. While both might pass the same point repeatedly, the spiral makes real progress.
You are not back where you were. You have lived in at least two very different worlds and you have developed something of value from both of those worlds.
You have a depth of emotions and an ability to see that few people have. Your answer cannot come in words. At least, not in any words that I know in English. Your answer will come in feeling or in emotion.
Happy 35.001 birthday
Posted by: Kevin at October 1, 2007 5:29 PM
Hailun:
A belated Happy Birthday to you, bao-bei. I just marked my 60th back on the 18th, and I still find I search for these answers. And maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. We are all searchers in this land, and we only live as long as we search...
Here's one of my haiku, if you can think of each day as a dot:
Two dots form a line...
Lines extend to lead places...
In two directions...
We look forward and we look back, Janus-like, but we can never close our eyes to where we've been, nor not look forward to where we're going...
By the way, my original reason for clicking over to your blog was to invite you to visit one of mine: http://whisperingcomet.blogspot.com.
I recently created it to house my growing collection of haiku. These are open and free for the taking, to use however one wishes. You are one of the few persons I know whom I think might actually appreciate my humble efforts. I certainly hope you would enjoy them.
I will leave you with another haiku, this one of advice garnered from the Navajo tribe, the Dinee, several members of which I've served with:
Haiku:
To 'Go in Beauty'...
Always look for the pattern...
Of the harmony...
Again, Happy Birthday - and don't admit your age, because you don't look it at all! >__^
- Paul
Posted by: Paul (TheWanderingMind) at October 2, 2007 2:31 PM
Hi, Dear sister: Happy BD again!
I am touched again by your words and feeling, my bd is coming lately, but I have tears in my eyes at this moment I think about it... we came here through the half earth, far from home town, far from family... learning, strugging,growing here... every year even every day, there is a story there about ourselves... but I am sure that we are happy for what we have and get from life... you, my dear sister, you own already a lot, you are really sb, you have a lot friends they like you...I understand also that sometimes, what we dont have just likes cancer growing, eats up what we have, but my dear sister, you deserve own what you want and dream.... no matter when, it will come eventually....
Posted by: angela at October 4, 2007 8:00 PM
happy birthday.
maybe late:)
Posted by: 世界草民 at October 16, 2007 10:34 PM
.....For me the poem from Kipling is a target to reach.....for you....you've already reach it !!
Posted by: Marc-Andre at October 19, 2007 12:49 PM
Thank you everyone for sending me your best wishes...
Paul,thanks for the website and thanks for those haikus....
Kevin, your words about my photos always touch me deep inside, thanks so much...
Angela, you are always sweet!
Marc, I am glad to have you as a dear friend in my life...
北京农民和世界草民，thank you for dropping by~ it is never late to say hi...
Posted by: Helen at October 25, 2007 12:10 PM