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September 27, 2007
34.99 years old wish
Here I am. 34.99 years old. asking myself the same question 20 years ago: What do you want?
If life experience could sell for money, I must be at least a millionnaire. If being kind and generous can make one live longer, I think I could live at least 200 years. I doubt it will be much fun though to live that long without teeth. Sometimes I evaluate my assets and I see a lot as the intangible ones. Then I smile, as if I am really rich.
I am a little bored. No in fact a lot bored. With my suburb condo, sometimes even with this sexy city. Walking on St-Catherine street, I wonder how many people care about me, no one. Who are we? Nobody. So why are we taking ourselves so seriously?
8 years. I could think in English and dream in French; I could talk about sex without blushing; I could go tell a young man that he is cute; I could smile at a friend saying : you know what, you suck! But I still could not leave my parents behind without thinking of my responsibilities; I still could not not want a beautiful steady everlasting love and a family; I still could not stop being a Chinese, no matter what passport I am holding.
8 years later, I am back to where I was. I have to find the answers to my question: what do you want? What makes you happy?
My own birthday wish is: God, help me find the answers.
And you, please help me pray.
Posted by pengbo at 12:48 AM | Comments (9)
September 8, 2007
Alone
Posted by pengbo at 9:55 PM | Comments (1)
Going through the tunnel...
The whole summer I have been feeling going through a tunnel...alone...
I don't see the light even though I have been telling myself: it will be over, soon. You have been there, done that...it could not be worse. I can't change lane because it is too dangerous, all the cars are so close to each other. I can't surpass anyone. I just need to stay where I am, driving, being focused in the dark, hoping one day, at one point, I am going to get through this...
It is possible I think. Patience. Someone told me this the first time we met.
Posted by pengbo at 9:37 PM | Comments (0)