December 24, 2006
When I drove over Champlain bridge it was past mid-night, so it was officially the holiday-----Christmas Eve. For me it was no different from any other day, I felt nothing. However like any other artificially defined significant days------birthday, New Year, anniversary, the holiday symbolized a new start, for whatever, at least for those who have been longing for it, like me.
A bunch of us crawled up in the sofa watching a chick flick called Something New. I could not stop coughing. This damned cold seemed to have fallen in love with me though I believed there should be a better lover than that. Someone asked me:" How are you Helen?" " I am just sick and tired." " Sick and tired of what?" " of nothing, I am just referring to the reality." " Oh then you should say you are tired and sick." Nice, the art of linguistics.
Every new start involves the reflection of the past. Usually we do the reflection on New Year's eve and pretend to have some new year's resolutions that rarely happen anyways. As eager as I want to have a new start, I am in the reflection mood, right now.
It has been an eventful year for me. I have experienced intensely emotional changes, in both my professional and personal life. Some part of my heart was damaged, some other part was built. I always believe that saying:" What does not kill you makes you stronger." However what makes me proud is that I am still wearing this smile, am still grateful for having many dear friends around me, who believe in me, who support me when I need a shoulder, who walk with me through tough times, who appreciate and love me for who I am; grateful for having a rich life experience which involves extreme joy and pain; grateful for having the freedom to do something that I am passionate about; grateful for not losing the ability to see beauty in ordinary things, grateful for being remembered and appreciated in different ways---------I have received many warm and beautiful words from strangers to thank me for making their life different through my pictures and my words.
Alas here I want to thank all of you who have read me, have cared for me, have shared some special moments with me. You have all contributed to my life in your unique way and you are all guaranteed to be in my thoughts.
Tired and sick though, I am smiling in front of my computer to you: Merry Christmas!
Posted by pengbo at December 24, 2006 2:07 AM