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March 22, 2006
你的日光
上班的第一周，忙得两眼发直。一封邮件飞来，发信人一栏是一个久违的名字。 那是留在我博上的简短的留言和他的博的地址。虽知下班前要交东西给老板，此刻做分秒必争状，仍然忍不住浏览了他的博。因为在过去15年里，他的文字对我而言有着至高无上的地位。然后我看到一篇迟到了7年的听后感。然后我就在同事们喧杂的背景下转过头，面对着日光，毫无顾忌地流泪。
Qingchun, 我想我应该批评你。这许多年来我一直致力于遗忘。也许已逝的岁月背负了太多的沉重而我也终于肯承认自己的肩膀还是太柔弱，所以我成功地劝说自己选择遗忘。而今天，你看似不经意地将那个我只有在旧照片的稚嫩微笑中才认得出的Helen摆在我面前，让我无处可逃。
我认识你20年了。想想真可怕。我这样说的时候想像你的样子。 你会说：“不对，是我认识你20年了，因为我认识你的时候你还不认识我呢！“ Whatever. 那时我是一个扎着马尾不知天高地厚的初一小姑娘。 我们读同一所中学，同一个高中。你的名字总是和优秀联系在一起。最让我嫉妒的是你轻而易举地去了那所有未名湖的大学读书，而于我，那时我一生梦想的学校。很显然，那也是我一生的遗憾。
接到你的第一封信时我上高三。你总是用薄薄的很清秀的印着红色“北京大学“的信纸。 而从那一天起近十年间你的信件我一封都不曾丢掉，而且每一封我都读过若干遍。你总是在轻描淡写间流露出你的睿智和诙谐。我曾无数次悻悻然地生自己的气：“人家咋可以写得那好尼。。。”记得96年我的生日，你送我的生日礼物便是那许多年间我所有信件的复印件。于是我对照你我的书信将我多年的心路历程重新走了一遍，如同看一场自己主演的电影，竟然忍不住为自己落泪。
在所有有关你我一起的记忆里，似乎一直都是我在聒噪着， 张扬我的快乐与悲伤。你总是淡淡地笑着，包容我的为赋新词的情愁。从云端到路上，从纠缠道离散。。。当许如云歌声再起时，我却也只剩淡淡地笑了， 用你的话是“沧桑之后的欢颜。“
于我，你是为数不多的几个我生命的见证人。所以不管见面不见面，有电话没电话，有邮件没邮件，你始终在我心里留有一个特殊的位置，无人可以取代。你说从未进过我手臂半径，可是你一直在我心里。
在这个6个月都是寒冬的城市里，我学会了做自己的日光，做自己的机场。温暖自己无数冰冷的黑夜，承托自己无数次的起飞降落。而今天，我知道在遥远的地球另一边，有一位我挚爱的朋友，留了一段日光给我。而为这，我湿了眼眶。
Posted by pengbo at 10:43 PM | Comments (0)
March 20, 2006
Celebrate the moments
It was officially Spring today. Besides, it was the first day of my new job.
The reasons sounded decent so I bought myself flowers:’ from me to me, with love’
Sometimes we don’t even need reasons. We don’t need to wait for something to happen. We have enough reasons to celebrate the moments in life: the moments that make us feel alive, valued, treasured, missed, cared..
Life is too short. I don't wait to be happy. I AM happy. This is my moment to celebrate.
Happy Spring!
Posted by pengbo at 9:21 PM | Comments (0)
March 12, 2006
Happy cleaning
I am in a highly motivated cleaning mood. When I say cleaning, I am not referring to washing, mopping,vacuuming or the like. I mean throwing away stuff. I did that once to my computer, but I find life repeats itself and sometimes we end up finding the same truth over and over again.
I am good at accumulating junk: the seashell necklace from 10 years ago, the map of Prague 5 years ago, the tickets to the opera 4 years ago, boarding pass 3 years ago, credit card receipts a year ago, ...I have many clothes that I barely touch, I have three DVD player but two of them don't play any now, I have two printers and one of them was sitting on my shelf....why am I keeping all these? I once thought they would be all good souvenirs, they would remind me all the wonderful moments in life. If I throw them away I'd be losing them....but how often do I check on them, touch them, feel them? What will be remembered will be remembered.
I am kind of happy, at 11:24pm, throwing away a lot of my stuff, my junk or part of my past...
Posted by pengbo at 11:24 PM | Comments (0)
March 9, 2006
In the dark days
In the dark days, I have tried to keep my smile...
Posted by pengbo at 2:42 AM | Comments (0)
March 7, 2006
undo
In the MS project training session:
The trainer: How many steps do you guys think we could undo in MS project?
Jen: 10 steps? Maybe?
The trainer: Just one step.
Jen: Wow, so limited.
Me: It is better than in real life because you can't undo any step.
Posted by pengbo at 9:09 PM | Comments (0)