« October 2005 | Main | December 2005 »
November 28, 2005
生病记
整个周末我都在家里兢兢业业地感冒。喷嚏排山倒海般汹涌而至，鼻子则如坏了的水龙头川流不息。害得我扛着我的kleenex满屋转， 两天用了一个月的储备。
去年冬天我轰轰烈烈地生了一个月的病，生得天昏地暗地躺在床上装尸体。到了冰箱储备告罄而我又没力气起床出门， 无奈只好咬着牙叫pizza. 吃得我倒足胃口，以至于谁再跟我提pizza我的胃就有生理反应。那一个多月的日子如白色恐怖想起来就不寒而栗。 好在我自艾自怜的神经已自我切除， 否则家里可就要被泪水洗个底儿朝天。但我还是对午夜的珍珠奶茶感激涕零。
今年公司一提出打流感疫苗，我便积极踊跃报名。很久没打针了，周一抱着献身的态度去了，却只觉得被蚊子叮了一下就结束了，很不过瘾。没想到周末就立竿见影地病了，这回倒过瘾了， 我很怀疑医生给我打的不是防流感病毒， 二是流感病毒本身。（其实本来就是）。
我从小就是一病秧子。刚出生没几天就打头皮针。怪不得我妈有时说：“你脑子进水啦？“可不是嘛， 打小儿遗留到现在。我小时侯是医院的常客，两天不去，第三天一大早就大摇大摆地去报到了。混得跟医生们都倍儿熟。据说我奶奶当时特抒情地给我起了一小名儿叫“富园“取“富贵家园“之意。结果有一天我正哭天抹泪地练嗓子，奶奶大叫：“富园！富园！“。护士小姐进来皱着眉头：“瞧你们也真是的，哪儿能给孩子取名叫肺炎呢？怪不得老肺炎心衰的。“奶奶一听急了，立马儿给我改了一个抗打击能力极强的名字，在此不便公布。
我是药罐子里泡大的。喝药跟喝水似的，眼睛都不眨一下，特豪迈。可能是小时候把一辈子的药都预支了，现在我是能不吃就不吃，死扛。不过也是，这感个冒，吃药俩星期好，不吃药15天，我还省个麻烦呢！
后来长大了些，觉得不行。虽说先天不足吧也不能自暴自弃呀。还是要树立“锻炼身体保卫祖国”的宏伟志向。我开始打篮球排球，苦练杀敌本领。其实我打篮球从高一才开始。学校篮球比赛，不会打抱球跑，被裁判吹走步。特没面子。郁闷之余立志雪耻，高中毕业时我已是校队主力。但我还是特烦达标，跑步啦，铅球啦。其实我跑得挺快的，可我就不喜欢傻乎乎地跑步。你说你要追个球跑跑还有个目的，这一圈圈一个人绕个大操场没完没了，那才是脑袋叫大头鞋踢了呢！还有那铅球，我从小就剩就一副窈窕小淑女的身材，哪儿能跟郑海霞比呀。 让我推铅球，铅球推我还差不多。
经过我后天不懈的努力，我的体质已从“基本不可药救“到“基本不用药救“了。偶尔还极具欺骗性地博个“体育健将”称号或至少也是酷爱户外运动人士。
只是近几年每年冬天都要大感冒一场，不知是我体内的病毒太多还是我太纯洁难以抵挡外界病毒的侵袭。（说得我自己都有点不信）。不过为了乐观起见我搜肠刮肚地寻找生病的好处。譬如可以堂而皇之地不上班，可以大摇大摆地在床上赖上一天， 可以不负责任地把房间弄乱，可以心安理得地向朋友索取同情。。。也不错。
Posted by pengbo at 11:23 PM | Comments (0)
November 23, 2005
I am late
I am late, for many things.
The e-mails to reply, the pictures to update, the comments to respond, the books to read, the rooms to clean....my beef was ready yesterday for me to cook and I was late. I am just in an abosultely-want-to-do-nothing mood.
The exaggerating Christmas decoration everywhere forces me to reluctantly accept the fact that winter is coming inevitably and 2005 is giving the last try. Running into a colleague in the elevator, I was asked:" Ready for the winter?", I looked at him, " Oh never ready."
And it snowed yesterday, seemingly reinforcing the fact. Watching the snow through my office window, I was a little, homesick. The snow always makes me think of home, regardless where it is.
A tree, still stubbornly wearing the goldness, smiled at me in the snow. Damned, I did not have my camera handy. As anything else in life, we always find something amazing when we are not ready; and when we look for it, it is never there. Hence we always say that love is something found but not looked for.
I am still late, for many things...well just be late then.
Posted by pengbo at 9:28 PM | Comments (0)
A smile makes all the difference
I almost see him every day in the bus.
He sits still, with not much facial expression, not reading, not listening to music, not chatting with anyone. Occasionally I catch him sleeping, which is his only activity except sitting still.
I am not even sure he notices me. His eyes always sway away when there is a possible eye contact. Must be a very introvert person, I think aloud.
When the bus arrives, I usually take the escalator to go up to my office. I open the door and I always hold it for the next person. The other day I looked back while I held the door, it was him. Not much facial expression but the eye contact showed the appreciation. Yesterday I opened the door again and looked back, it was him again, this time he smiled. This morning, I took the bus at the different time. I slept through the bus ride and did not bother looking at anyone in the bus. I opened the door, as usual, looked back, it was him again, but this time with a huge smile and a big ‘Merci’ ….
The smile completely changes my perception of him. I even think he has a vivid face now.
Sometimes all we need is a smile.
Posted by pengbo at 6:06 PM | Comments (0)
November 21, 2005
from a picture...
I stole a shot of her with tears and that for me was a precious moment . She liked the picture but she was afraid that she might be too old for a close shot. That reminded me of a portrait of myself. That was for sure not my most beautiful image but this one was one of my favourites.
In my whole life I could have thousands of pictures with the perfect pose, perfect expression, perfect lighting, perfect skin, perfect hair…..but how many of them will capture my mood, my feelings and my emotions as vivid as this one? I believe over the years, this one will be more precious than any other pretty ones.
Another topic I want to touch is age. I am never afraid of telling my real age. You can’t stop aging, just as you can’t stop the seasons from changing. Your age is how old you want yourself to be. I believe every age has its unique beauty. When you are in your 20s, you can be innocent, energetic, dreamy, fearless and curious and of course, your skin, your hair, your shining and clear eyes are the reflection of one word: youth. When you are in your 30s, you are no longer wrinkle free, but your elegance, your class, your grace, you maturity, you wisdom and your rich life experience will add much more depth to your appearance. I remember Abraham Lincoln has said something like before 40 your parents are responsible for your appearance but after 40, YOU are the one who is responsible for it. So, don’t worry about age, just appreciate and enjoy the unique beauty it brings to you.
This was what I told her.
Posted by pengbo at 9:31 PM | Comments (0)
November 19, 2005
Letting out
Posted by pengbo at 8:24 PM | Comments (0)
November 16, 2005
Modesty
Posted by pengbo at 8:23 PM | Comments (0)
November 6, 2005
the MM-----music and movies
I love movies. I love watching the life stories of others, the drama and the complications, the emotions and the sentiment, so that I don’t need to think of mine.
This was the fourth time that I’ve watched this movie and I still laughed and cried with it. A little bit exaggerating but sweet, touching, romantic movie “Love Actually”. It was filmed for Christmas two years ago and reviewing it again just made me realize how time flew. Christmas was around the corner again.
In general, if I don’t pay particular attention to the music in the movie, for me it means it is well integrated with the plot and the story. And I have to say in the past three times, the music seemed seamlessly fitting to the movie so I just let it flow by. However I do remember one scene: The wife was thrilled to find a beautiful necklace in her husband’s pocket and she assumed that it would be her Christmas gift. But she opened her gift with excitement only to find out that her husband gave her Joni Mitchell’s CD. A complicated feeling seized her: Disappointed, being betrayed, shocking…but she could not reveal her real feelings in front of the kids so she pretended to go to the kitchen. She hid herself in her bedroom with Joni Mitchell’s voice flooding in the room, she wept silently….then she wiped out her tears and went back to the room pretending nothing had happened…
I cried three times when I watched that scene and this time, again. And the music, her deep voice, the melancholy melody, just went under my skin…..I felt I would melt in it….
Ok, on my to-purchase-list: Joni Mitchell: Both Sides Now
When I first listened to Carla Bruni was her song: "Quelqu’un m’a dit" from a wonderful friend this year. Then for my birthday I received a CD of hers from another dear friend, which became one of my favourite CDs. Last weekend I rent a few movies including an old one called Le divorce. I watched it in the theatre years ago. I rent it again just for a simple reason: I'd like to watch Kate Hudson’s sweet smile if I need to relax and kill some time. In the middle of the movie, all of sudden, Carla’s voice: “
C'est quelqu'un qui m'a dit que tu m'aimais encore.
Serais ce possible alors ?
It dawns to me that maybe something is always there, but sometimes we just don’t know…
Posted by pengbo at 7:34 PM | Comments (0)
November 4, 2005
About fall
Posted by pengbo at 12:43 AM | Comments (0)