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September 30, 2005
Happy Birthday
This is a day for reflection. I can’t help.
This is a day that I sense, vividly, how time crawls on my skin, even though I still have a young face, and a young heart.
When I look back, oddly, I am not reflecting just my past year, but my whole journey in Canada. I have seen myself change subtly but substantially; seen myself go through the tough moments, many times; seen myself being loved, and hurt; seen myself stubbornly fight with fate; seen myself try hard to position myself in this world professionally and socially; seen myself explore more of my potentials; seen myself experiment, fail or succeed but no matter what, always with a smile…..
I go out less. I prefer to spend quality time with quality friends, if not, I’d rather spend time with myself.
I am more real. I understand more what is important to me and what is not, what I should care more and what I should not.
I cry less. I spread my tears mostly when I watch movies. Good news.
I enjoy more the solitude. I am at ease to eat alone, sit alone in a café reading, walk alone to take pictures even go see a movie alone, not mention most of the time, home alone. Life is so short and I appreciate the freedom and space to do something that I really want.
This is a day of reflection, a day of hope, a day of a new start. At the same time, it is just another ordinary day.
Happy Birthday Helen.
Posted by pengbo at 4:05 PM | Comments (0)
September 20, 2005
We read each other's life
In the bus.
* He reads " La Presse", every time the same section. And every time, he folds it back to the original look.
* She must be rushed. No time for make-up. She sits there, deligently working on her eye lashes. The bus is bumpy, she can't put the maskara evenly. She hates it.
* She is pretty but dresses funny. A red top, yellow skirt but a green jacket, with running shoes.
In the café.
* She sits alone, with a book. She stares at the book for 10 minutes without turning a page. Her coffee is cold.
* He wheels in. He knows his way. He gets his water and put it in a net besides the arm of the wheelchair. He wheels out and greets a huge dog.
* She is in love. It shows from her eyes. She whispers to her cellphone and smiles. Her hand covers the other ear, trying to concentrate. She murmurs and giggles.
Each day, I read others' life. And I know that somebody is reading mine too.
Every time I take a picture, I know I might fall into someone else' viewfinder.
Posted by pengbo at 9:02 PM | Comments (0)
September 17, 2005
Confused
Posted by pengbo at 1:48 AM | Comments (0)
September 14, 2005
曾经的偶像
晚上9点走在多伦多的大街上，居然看到人流攒动，有些惊讶。似乎不太像多伦多的风格。经同事提醒才恍然大悟原来是电影节。经过某个影院看见长长的队伍似乎等待某个明星的到来，有些感慨地想：偶长这么大曾否崇拜过某个偶像尼？
搜肠刮肚地想了半天，无限感慨地发现我实际上也未能免俗，我曾经无限热爱过某个明星。那时我上初中，每天经过卖不干胶的小摊儿，粘在那儿查阅自己是否漏掉哪张。我攒了两大本子她的胶贴画，每天都在想：她怎么可以那么美呢？那时家里新买的电视是整个院子男女老少的宝贝。一放学就冲回家看她----翁美玲。
翁美玲就是黄蓉， 似乎是毋庸置疑天经地义的事情。 她的一颦一笑一娇一嗔一招一式就是活脱脱金庸笔下的黄蓉。其实周迅应该明白这个道理，你虽然也活泼可爱，但你怎么可以取代那个人们心中根深蒂固的蓉儿呢？就如刘晓庆再怎么使尽浑身解数，人们想起凤姐也非邓捷莫属。
现在想来很难说翁美玲二十几岁为情所困而香消玉陨是否值得。但至少汤镇业同学为此付出惨痛代价，事业一蹶不振，永远被着害死翁美玲的骂名。也是的，要是你爱上个什么章小惠之类的，她也不会为你死，说不定世人还同情你呢。 想想还真是年轻啊！年轻时眼里心里只有爱，爱是至高无上的，愿意为爱付出生命的代价。可能因为我曾经那么喜爱你，舍不得骂你傻。可是你还真是。。。糊涂啊。丫头，这世间感情是没有一成不变的，如果你活着，你会发现，爱和伤害是孪生姐妹，形影相随的。 爱是经历， 是感受； 伤也是经历，是感受。挺过去了，回头想想，不过是人生一段插曲而已，你却让这段插曲成为永恒！
然而我又问自己：自己之所以尊她为偶像正是因为她选择在高潮时谢幕不留一点余地呢？
Posted by pengbo at 9:04 PM | Comments (0)
September 7, 2005
Untitled
Posted by pengbo at 12:34 AM | Comments (0)
September 5, 2005
A new start?
It was not too long ago that I had this new computer.
For somewhat reason some functions were not working any more. Maybe I wanted to enrich it so much that I installed too many softwares. And I overlooked the fact that they might have conflicts.
Sometimes simple is better.
So after spending hours chatting with the lovely technician from India, I had to reimage it, back to the day that I had purchased. Even though I backed up the data, I felt that my past in between those days had been erased, so easily.
Now I have a brand new hard drive with nothing.
A new start?
Posted by pengbo at 6:15 PM | Comments (0)
September 1, 2005
Love is overrated?
Nancy Houston says in her An Adoration:
Yes love is all very well and good, but there is no way that it can take the place of your childhood memories, mother tongue, friends, parents, native sky...love, in my opinion, is vastly overrated. It is far less powerful than people make it out to be.
Is that true?
Posted by pengbo at 2:36 AM | Comments (0)