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August 28, 2005
Heaven
It is an ordinary afternoon but never ordinary in my memory.
This afternoon, I sat on my balcony, with the breeze gentlely caressing my body, reading.
This afternoon, I made a pot of green tea, its fresh smell awakened all my sensations.
This afternoon, I noticed that my neighbor's flowers blossomed like a July bride.
This afternoon, I smiled at the birds that dropped by.
This afternoon, I had the word: peace, serenity, comfort, solitude....in my mind.
This afternoon, I felt like in heaven.
Posted by pengbo at 10:20 PM | Comments (0)
钢琴曲
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August 22, 2005
被点名了。。。
一向不太关心流行趋势，所以直到被Anais 点了名才知道blog tag的来势迅猛。索性也赶一回时髦吧。
1. 家書架上的藏書數量
在北京时有一巨大个儿书橱，可惜没办法带来。那时70%的书籍是文学艺术类，对于金融经济电脑股票一概不感兴趣，一副不食人间烟火状。没想到后来阴差阳错地读了MBA. 现在在Montreal家里有若干金融会计市场人力资源等等无聊书籍，然而文学书籍仍占主导地位，只是分英法中三类，共计有300本左右。
2. 正在看或想看的書
为了回答这个问题，我把昨天刚整理好的书们抱过来一一登记：
正在读的：
Aloft by Chang-Rae Lee
Je voudrais que quelquèun mè attende quelque part by Anna Gavalda
Dance, dance, dance by Haruki Murakami
An Adoration by Nancy Huston
准备读的：
Àmes et Corps by Nancy Huston
Comme Une Ombre Dans La Nuit by Nora Roberts
Dolce Agonia, a novel by Nancy Huston
Prodigy by Nancy Huston
Underground by Haruki Murakami
Péchés de chair by Penelope Williamson
Immobile by Ying Chen
Chercher le Vent by Guillaume Vigneault
La petite fille qui aimait trop les allumettes by Gaétan Soucy
Wicked, the Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Macquire
The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
3. 最後買的一本書
Àmes et Corps by Nancy Huston
4. 有特別感想、印象深刻的五本書
红楼梦 （曹雪芹）大学时废寝忘食爱不释手。不知读过多少遍，哼哼唧唧地背诵“葬花词“为黛玉掉无数不值当的眼泪。
独身女人（亦舒）喜欢亦舒的简洁和尖刻。曾买过她所有的小说。现在再看“独身女人“仍觉余味无穷。
The Scalet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne 对次书印象深刻并非特别喜欢，而是大学时写英文书评，深感此书之晦涩难懂，受折磨之程度让我记忆深刻。
张爱玲散文系列。 经典就是经典。张爱玲本身就是经典。句号。
Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom 这本书里Morrie的人生观和价值观和我惊人的相似，因而钟爱。
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August 20, 2005
Home
I am home.
Posted by pengbo at 10:48 PM | Comments (0)
August 19, 2005
I am leaving, Quebec
It is my last day in Québec City.
7 weeks. Yes already 7 weeks.
The last glimps of Château Frontenac, the last walk on St-Jean, the last bus ride of 800...I don't like " last" or anything related to "farewell", but as every story in life has to have an ending, happy or sad, I need to draw a period somewhere for my Quebec summer journey.
A small summary? Maybe like an interview question: Ms. Helen, what did you get from this experience here in Quebec? That is the question I ask myself prior to my departure, ok here they are:
* A new family that will always welcome their " petite chinoise adoptée".
* Many new friends from all over the world: Switzland, Columbia, England, United States, other places in Canada......
*7 5@7, an occasion to get half drunk then speak French more fluently.
* A few movies in French: C.R.A.Z.Y, Nez Rouge, Maman Last call, Ma vie en Rose, L'auberge Espagnol, Comme Une Image, Horloge Biologique, Les Chorists and Le Prix du Desire.
* Some books on my " Read" list and many new ones on my to-read-list.
* Several phone numbers from the frendly Quebecois that I never called.
* A car with a brand new clutch.
* A passion of learning more French.
* Last but not least, a fond memory of a wonderful summer with wonderful views.
Posted by pengbo at 2:03 PM | Comments (0)
August 14, 2005
Une mésaventure, in hell
I guessed we have laughed too much last night in the tipis, I felt that my abdomen hurt a bit this morning. Hearing all kinds of noises in the tipi, I did not sleep much. We planned to kayak today however it would start only at noon and finish at 5pm. I would have to drive another 4 hours, besides I had a lot of homework for Monday, my first class in the group `avancé`, so I decided to pass. So I left earlier with the other two students.
Here started my bad luck.
My car played strike on me on the highway in the middle of nowhere. I did not know where we were and there was no any sign. I called CAA and right after I left my cell phone number to them to communicate with me when they are nearby, the battery died. We could only wish CAA would be smart enough to find us. After a good 40 minutes, someone was smiling at us and told me that I had to pay $200 to have my car towed to Quebec city. Seemed I had no other choice---it was Sunday and all garages were closed. Then he said, with a smile again, that he could only take two people in his truck because if the police saw him with 3 people he would be fined $1000. Finally he agreed that one person could lie on my backseat while it was towed. The poor Mexican girl ended up starting her unique bumpy journey on my backseat.
In my life when the bad luck comes, it is never alone.
So the events afterwards were not surprising:
* I finally arrived home only to find that my room was locked by accident.
* I tried to cook something to eat, the lid of the sugar dropped and I had a super sweet meal.
* I called my family in China, I was told that I had 3 hours but after 30 minutes, it was finished.
* My mom was sick and my dad was away, attending the competition of ping pong in another city. She was upset and crying over the phone. I cried too.
* I had to pay $700 to repair my car.
……
It was an incredible day, a day in hell.
Posted by pengbo at 11:29 PM | Comments (0)
August 13, 2005
Une aventure, in paradise
I was convinced to go camping with the family and the other two students. One girl from U.S thought that camping was romantic. For me, nah, camping and romantic never belonged to the same category. Anyway, I said yes.
The last minute before leaving, le monsieur told me that there was not enough space in the car and asked me if I could take my car as well. I said no problem. I guess if I had known that it was going to be around 4 hours drive, I probably would have said: “ Maybe I could stay” because I was not crazing about driving, especially long distance.
It was the most difficult mountain road I have ever driven; pretty much reflected our life path though: a lot of up and downs and you don’t know where you will return next.
Finally 7 of us, 6 women and 1 man, arrived at a place called Paradise Marin. We would spend our night in a tipis, a big tent for all. Maybe you want to say, ah someone is lucky! Maybe, or maybe not. :P
I lay on the rock by the river for the whole afternoon. I could hear nothing but the music that the water plays on the rock. It was the tranquillest moment in the past few months. Just the sunshine, just the water, just the blue and just me.
The evening was crazy. After a fondu chiniois. (Very close to our hotpot, but more delicate and less efficient I would say.) We sat around the fire. The beers and wines apparently contributed a lot to our crazy singing. French songs, Mexican songs, Russian songs and of course Chinese songs…along with the laughter echoed for a long time in the darkness. Looking up to the sky, I saw numerous eyes shining and smiling at me. I really didn’t remember how long I haven’t looked at the stars like this. Just one second, I felt that some hot liquid would want to rush out of my eyes, did not know why. I held it back. I made a wish though.
It was a perfect evening, an evening in paradise.
Posted by pengbo at 11:28 PM | Comments (0)
August 11, 2005
My company last night
I did not sleep well last night.
For the first time in my life, I allowed a cat sleep in my bed. It was surely an exception.
I never really liked cat, in fact at one point disliked cat at all. When I was a kid, cats did not leave me a fond memory at all. One cat jumped on me and scratched my arm and even now I can recall my not so pleasant scream. Also, I always thought that cat was a little cunning, crafty, disloyal and lazy. Above all, I was born in the year of rat, oh no I prefer to say mouse, (cuter, huh?) so I have a very decent reason not to like cats.
Having said that, I could not dislike the 2 cats in the family where I stay right now. One of them was called Maou. He was grey and soft and….adorable. I hated to admit, but yes. Her recent new hairstyle made him look a little funny but very fashionable.
Last night it was humid and hot. My room was in the basement so it was one of best places in the house. Apparently Maou noticed that too. When I came back from a movie Horloge Biologique , I found him lying on my bed comfortably. He looked at me as if I was the guest. “Good evening Sir, this is MY bed, OK? And I need to sleep! Could you please...? He, instead of leaving, extended all his body on my bed with a sweet “miao”, trying to bribe me. “ Fine, but just one night!” During the night, I was always afraid that I might kick him so I crawled my body carefully trying not to move much and I opened my eyes several times to check him up.
This morning when I finally opened my eyes, he was gone. Bastard! I went out to check him up. He was having his breakfast and apparently very satisfied. “Do you know how many men are jealous of you, Maou?” He sort of gave me I-do-not-care look. But I knew that little bastard has changed my perception of cats.
Posted by pengbo at 12:40 AM | Comments (0)
August 5, 2005
Conversation
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August 3, 2005
Unmet friends
Rather often, we think that our happiness is brought by our family, lovers, or closer friends. Yet in my life, many times my heart has been filled with joy, appreciation and warmth by the little things done by some friends that I have never met.
Him, my dear friend from Italy, who shares the same passion with me---photography, who has a wonderful eye and feeling for images, who is very sweet and considerate, sent me beautiful songs, one per day when he was away for vacation. Simply because that I mentioned that I loved the songs he shared with me. How could I calculate the considerations and caring behind the little gesture? Thanks a million my friend! I will save a huge hug for you if I ever meet you one day!
Yang, who read my blog regularly and occasionally dropped a few comments, lost my web address while she was reinstalling her windows. She in fact googled me and took a long time to find me again and when I read her comment, I felt the softest part of my heart was touched by a gentle hand. I never expect that my casual writing, sometimes a little crazy :P, matters to her. And I have to say, Yang, your presence matters to me too. I hope you won`t reinstall windows too sooooooon. :P
Ken, who enjoys life and writes about little things...:) always leaves a sweet comment, sharing his feelings and perspective with me. I am actually curious Ken, how did you find me? I am sending you greetings from Quebec City and I thank you for everything! Your comments become part of my blog too!
Another unknown friend, sent me an e-mail from Italy, telling me how my pictures touched him after he came across my photos at flickr......
I once talked about quality friend maybe I should add one more catagory: Unmet friends......believe me, even though we`ve never met, you are often in my thoughts....:)
Posted by pengbo at 11:35 PM | Comments (0)
August 2, 2005
Lost in Translation
I dreamed in French last night.
My French professor once said if one day we started to dream in French, it meant that we really started to have feelings for this language.
A young lady from Colombia asked me in class :” Est-ce que tu penses en chinois, anglais ou peut-être en français? (Do you think in Chinese, English or maybe French?) She winked at me. I started to give some serious thoughts. Until then did I realize that rather often, I thought in English, even though my English was far from perfect.
I started to wonder why. Maybe because English became part of my life and a lot of things, when I first learned or accepted, were in English. I still remember when I first learned Statistics, it was in English therefore when my Chinese classmates mentioned 正态分布, I could not understand until they explained to me in English that they referred to “ Normal distribution”. Many times when I spoke with my mom on the phone, I could not find the appropriate term for something I was doing here. I suddenly understood why many Chinese who lived abroad for a while often blurred out some English words when they spoke Chinese, and shamely, as many native Chinese often did, I used to accuse them of showing off their different experience.
And now I mix up all three. Every day after my French class, I have hard time speaking proper English or Chinese. The words that come to my mind first are French, even though they might not be the right words.:P
I am kind of lost, lost in translation.
I also ask myself:” Who are you?” Yes of course I am a Chinese and I am always proud of being a Chinese. I really am even though I am holding a Canadian passport. Yet during the last few years, I have accepted different mindsets, behaviours and maybe even life styles tremendously. I feel like the middle part of the sandwich---I am stuck in the middle. I am not 100% Chinese any more, nor am a Canadian. I lose my identity. When I visit China, I feel that my vocabulary is soooooo outdated. A lot of new terms were created during my absence. I become a visitor of my own country. Here, even my English is not bad, occasionally I look puzzled when my colleagues laugh at something they think funny. Let alone French.
I become nothing, nobody. Or, maybe I don’t need a clear definition of my identity. I am who I am. Period.
Posted by pengbo at 12:32 AM | Comments (0)