Canadian soldiers poisoned one of their COs by slipping naphtha gas, antifreeze, shoe polish into his coffee. Now the CO, who has gone blind in one eye, wants to see justice done. Unfortunately, too much time has gone by for the military to do anything about it.

Schizos are upset about Jim Carrey's upcoming movie, where he plays a schizo.

Eddie Van Halen does not have cancer.

The Germans are building blimps again.

The FBI releases their plans to protect the US power grid from cyber-attacks.